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Dead duck in west parking lot

Matt Simpson

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It’s a bird, it’s a plane. Actually, it’s a bird.

An aquatic bird. A dead aquatic bird.

For the past week, a dead mallard has inhabited the west parking lot of OHS. The decomposing duck carcass has caused many students to react in many different ways.

The duck seems to have been killed while someone was hunting, and was brought to school to put on students’ cars as a prank. The source who brought the dead duck is unknown. Many students have had their cars victimized by the duck.

“I was a little grossed out when I saw the dead duck,” said junior Alden McInnis, whose car was one of the victims. “I removed the duck with a towel from my car, and I have not experienced any illnesses since I handled the dead duck.”

Administrators were not at first aware of the fowl fiasco.

“I had no idea that we had a dead duck in the parking lot,” said assistant principal Duncan Gray.

There are not any rules that explicitly prevent the bringing of dead animals on school property, but the expired mallard incident may fall under a much broader rule violation.

“We have some rules that prevent anything that causes a disturbance,” said Gray. “I think that the dead duck will possibly qualify as causing a little bit of a disturbance, if you’re bringing dead animals on the campus.”

Some students see the dead duck as a source of amusement and of opportunity for the high school.

“I thought it was hilarious,” said junior Daniel Morales, who did not take part in the handling of the dead duck. “I think we should have it as our mascot. Then I think we should fry it up and eat it, and have a cookout in the parking lot.”

When questioned, the mallard was not responsive; possibly due to the fact that it was dead.

 

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Dead duck in west parking lot