For most, New Year’s Day is associated with resolutions, new habits, and plans for the future. On Jan. 1, 2021, however, OHS senior Sarah Kassel received news that would alter her plans not only for the new year, but for the rest of her life. Come July 29, 2021, at the age of 14, Sarah Kassel would give birth to her first daughter, Phoenix Kassel.
Since her freshman year, Sarah Kassel has balanced being a student, employee, friend, and mother. Her journey has been nothing short of tumultuous, but she has faced every new adversity with positivity and grace. In addition to being pregnant as a teen, Sarah Kassel also had to face the challenges that came with being pregnant during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“When I found out I was pregnant I had COVID,” Sarah Kassel said. “I took a COVID test and I ended up having it and I thought that’s why I was feeling sick. It actually ended up being morning sickness. I could also only have one person in the delivery room with me when I was in labor because of restrictions. So I was stressing out the whole pregnancy of whether that would be my mom or my boyfriend.”
Sarah Kassel thought her whole life was over when she first found out the news. Luckily, her family was willing to help her through this unplanned pregnancy.
“I was on zoom with my boyfriend when I found out,” Sarah Kassel said. “I just showed it to him and he tried not to cry. We were both 14. He didn’t tell his parents for months, so he was forced to hide all of his emotions about it. When I first found out, I went downstairs, told my mom, and we both started crying. My mom had kind of already had a negative reaction when she first found out I was doing things that could get you pregnant, but she obviously was like ‘I’m gonna help you out.’ I thought my whole life was over. I was flipping out. I called my best friend and she started making jokes. I thought that there was no way this could be happening to me in the ninth grade. I was scared to have kids because at the time I didn’t want kids because I knew it was going to be painful. I was just devastated.”
Since then, Sarah Kassel has warmed up to the idea of being a parent. While being a teen mom has forced Sarah Kassel to grow up a little bit quicker than her peers, she enjoys getting to combine the traditional high school experience with the highlights of motherhood.
“It is so fun to take her places,” Sarah Kassel said. “When I did the OHS pageant she screamed out when I came on the stage and it was hilarious. It’s really cool to just be able to raise someone to be a good person. I like knowing that at least one person in the world is going to be a good person because of me.”
Having so many responsibilities on her plate has immensely affected Sarah Kassel’s daily routines.
“In middle school I had nearly perfect attendance,” Sarah Kassel said. “This past year I think I had like 100-something absences and 80 tardies. Obviously I don’t have time to do my work at home because now that Phoenix is two, she moves around a lot more.”
Sarah Kassel attributes a lot of her success as a mother and student throughout high school to her support system. Her mother has played a huge role in helping Sarah Kassel raise her daughter.
“You may think you’re gonna wake up when your baby cries in the middle of the night but I’m a really deep sleeper,” Sarah Kassel said. “It’s been two years and my mom has always woken up in the middle of the night and helped her. Because I work too, my mom had to quit her job to watch my kid.”
Along with her mother, the rest of Sarah Kassel’s immediate family was supportive of her through this process as well.
“My dad was really happy,” Sarah Kassel said. “He was like ‘I knew you were gonna be the first one to have a kid. I just didn’t think it’d be this early.’ My brothers were shocked at first, but they really like kids too.”
Another person who has played an integral role in Sarah Kassel’s motherhood is her best friend, Nikki Eubanks.
“Nikki planned the gender reveal, the baby shower, and everything even though she was only 14 too,” Sarah Kassel said. Eubanks was with Sarah Kassel up until the hours before she went into labor. “Her water actually broke at my house when she was spending the night,” Eubanks said. “I woke up and she was gone from my house but I didn’t think much of it. All of a sudden, I got a call that the baby had been born and I couldn’t believe it. She was so cute and tiny.”
Others did not have such positive reactions towards the news of Sarah Kassel’s pregnancy.
“I told my Personal Finance class through two truths and a lie game,” Sarah Kassel said. “Everyone thought that obviously the lie was that I was pregnant and then I had to tell them. They wanted to throw a baby shower for me but one of the parents got involved and said that we couldn’t be cause it would be ‘a waste’ of class time.”
Phoenix Kassel’s father unfortunately has not been a huge part of her life so far. Sarah Kassel and her child’s father dated on and off for roughly two and a half years.
“Maybe a month after I had Phoenix, I broke up with him,” Sarah Kassel said. “We have not been together since and I’m with somebody else now. Everybody knows he’s a bad person. He completely dropped out of school. His mom isn’t really the best care taker. She kind of is an alcoholic so we took her to rehab. He stayed with his sister’s dad for a while, but never really stayed in one place so he just kind of quit school. Then he ended up stealing money from my family so that explains how helpful he is. He’ll just randomly ask me now ‘when can I see my daughter’ and I’m like ‘no way.’ Once I had her I knew I didn’t need him anymore.”
One of the most exciting parts about pregnancy is getting to pick out a name for one’s child. Sarah Kassel believes that her age at the time of her pregnancy had an effect on the name that she picked for her daughter.
“During the time I was pregnant, I was watching a lot of Minecraft series on YouTube,” Sarah Kassel said. My favorite one was called ‘Phoenix Drop.’ She’s not named after Phoenix, Arizona, not Pheonix like the bird, but the Phoenix Minecraft series. Her middle name, Lynn, came from her father’s grandma. That was her middle name and it also turned out to be my best friend’s middle name too. She has my last name of course because he was in Chattanooga when she was born, so he couldn’t sign the birth certificate.”
Despite not having a traditional high school experience, Sarah Kassel still has exciting plans to continue her education in the future.
“I’m probably going to end up going to either Northwest or Ole Miss,” Sarah Kassel said. “I really want to go to Ole Miss.”
Over the past few years, it has become evident to Sarah Kassel and the people in her life how bad the stigma around teen pregnancy is.
“I believe that there’s a negative stigma around teen pregnancy,” Eubanks said. “Life happens so fast and is so unpredictable that I feel like others shouldn’t be so concerned with other peoples’ lives and should worry about themselves first. At the end of the day all you have is yourself.”
Sarah Kassel has learned a great deal through this experience. While she may not necessarily recommend getting pregnant as young as she did, she has made the best of her circumstances.
“If you find yourself in a situation like this, there’s no point in hiding,” Sarah Kassel said. “Even if you decide to give up for adoption you still have to go through the whole pregnancy. My first thought was that I should get an abortion because at the time it was legal and I thought that there was no way I could raise a kid. If you’re ever considering adoption or abortion I would consider keeping the kid because I know I’m really happy I did. I wouldn’t say I encourage people to have kids in high school, but it is a fun experience. If you end up in that situation, I would tell people to just enjoy the moment.”
After having Phoenix Kassel, Sarah Kassel is open to the possibility of having another child.
“Obviously I’m not gonna have any more kids right now,” Sarah Kassel said. “I think it would be nice to start my own family though once I am married and way older.”
