(Satirical) Student suspected of cheating in hide and seek

Matt Simpson

Oxford Elementary School has been in turmoil ever since an incident of severe misconduct occurred during recess on Tuesday. The misdemeanor at issue took place during a game that numerous little tykes across the country take very seriously: hide and seek.

Third grader Freddy Smith, was allegedly caught committing the act of peeking while he was counting. Peeking is an intolerable offense in the game, and, in a sanctioned match, is punishable by death. Smith’s classmates are furious.

“Freddy Smith is a cheater, and he is no longer allowed in the Coloring Club,” fellow third grader Jessica Field said. “Also, I heard he eats his boogers.”

Smith insists that he did not infringe on any rules during their game.

“I swear I didn’t do peeksies,” Smith said. “I would never do such a thing.”

Although, when asked to pinky promise that he did not peek, Smith refused.

Added Smith: “Peeking wouldn’t have helped me anyways. I’ve seen Cynthia try to hide behind a football.”

There is strong evidence against Smith. Buddy Jones, second grade, claims that he saw Smith peep for an extended period of time while Smith was counting.

“I saw him with my own eyes,” Jones said. “All the other kids were running to their hiding spots, and he opened his eyes. They were open for like a million seconds.”

Since the game in question was only for fun, Smith will not face the regular repercussions of an official game. However, he will definitely be ostracized by his peers.

“Freddy isn’t invited to my birthday party anymore,” Field said.

It is rumored that Field’s birthday party is going to include a moon bounce, a clown, and a face painting station.

DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical article. All characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblances to real people are unintentional.